Tessie D

I woke up feeling sullen on Sunday. The weather is changing, and seasons are coming and going, even without my sweet Baby. Saturday had come and gone, and I realized when I woke up on Sunday morning that I’d gone an entire day without thinking about her. The passing of time makes it harder to remember…

There was some sort of accident at Texas A&M yesterday. A bonfire collapse. It’s been all over the news. In Texas, we have bonfires during Homecoming week. Everyone brings scrap lumber, trees, telephone polls, old wooden pallets–just about anything that’s wood adjacent that would burn–to someone’s field where the football players’ and cheerleaders’ parents pile…

The colder weather is creeping in, and I can feel it settling in the air. Skies are greying, and the sun comes up later and sets sooner. It’s almost dark now, by the time I leave for work at 5:00 p.m. I don’t mind it, though. I love the darker evenings. I’ve been going home here…

Amber, Robin, and I went to the bar. I wasn’t going to go — I still had work today, and I knew that it would make for a rough Friday — but Robin’s boyfriend broke up with her, and she was feeling down about it. So, we piled into Amber’s pickup and headed over to…

Angel noticed the other day that my mood was darkening. My mask was slipping. I needed to go home and be sad by myself.  “Is something wrong? You seem far away.”  “No, it’s just that listening to you talk about books reminds me of what I missed. What I’ve never had.”  “Don’t say that. There’s…

Angel stops by the office now with all the other hands to eat his lunch. He stays for half an hour to chat and “cool down.”  He and the other hands usually mostly do all of the talking. They talk about the dairy and which heifers were especially ornery that morning. What needs to be…

I was listening to the news on the radio in my office. A plane crashed yesterday in New York. Everyone died. More than 200 people. I got up and went into the kitchen to get some water when I saw Mrs. Olsen and Angel sitting outside on the picnic table underneath the big tree. The…

It was a year ago to the day that I lost Baby. I haven’t spoken her name out loud in so long. I’m not sure if I even know how to make the sound. I try not to think about her, but the thought of her sneaks up on me when I least expect it.…

Angel was in the office the other day. He’d been working with cattle when a heifer headbutted a gate, and it slammed against Angel’s finger. The fingernail broke off, and there was blood everywhere. He came up to the office for the first-aid kit. Angel wasn’t mad or yelling or anything like Daddy would get…

Angel has been coming early to work every morning. He brings coffee and donuts, and we sit in the kitchen chatting and watching the sun come up. He is so beautiful that sometimes I catch myself staring. His long eyelashes, his dark hair, his wide shoulders, and his narrow waist. If I can be completely…